Here I am again, blogging about my daily life. Which is nothing much. I just got pretty much pissed off again. I chatted to my aunt about my missing wallet and had to blab it to my dad. I was mad. Because I didn't plan on telling my dad about it. Now he's just accusing me again. I'm really sick to the core, hearing the same ol' curses and swears. Treating my friends like dirt when in reality, they're the ones who heard my problems and helped pulled me out of dirt. All he does is just nag at me. I know he's worried and concerned but don't ill-speak of my friends. It just gets all kinds of wrong. That's just degrading my friends, who helped me.

Not all I met have been sincere in hearing. Like how I ranted, Mister Cold-Shoulder wasn't exactly sincere. What he said "if like can get cash from me", that totally blew me off Earth. Never have I met someone so... insincere. Like, totally. It totally got to me, I suppose. Doesn't help that I don't get my tempers checked and what not.

So, why has that insincere dude became my centre of attention again? I feel so ill-used, you know? He may not know that and may not know that he's indirectly using me. Oh, just once I wish he's reading everything in my blog. Then he'll know all my thoughts and nightmares that he's sent me to. Perhaps 75% of my blog details may be all kinds of wrong to him but that 75% is how I feel, see it, think of it. It may not be the best description but that's how far it gets.

So, exams in 9 hours and I'm not sleeping yet. I'm like a total... insomniac. I can't sleep without having some thoughts in my mind first. It's like an everyday thing to me. You know? Thinking and listening to music, read some books if it gets any worse. I wish I can simply send myself into oblivion, oblivious to everything.

I wanna get into a soporific mood, where all my conjectures and daydreams come into one, thinking this will happen or that won't happen. I'm so sick of facing facts and truths everyday. I wish I can delude myself into believing that one day, such a day will arrive, knocking into my door. I can't seem to be getting there or just simply inviting Lady Dreams into my doorstep, ringing the doorbell and me answering it. No. In fact, all I can think is how and why. Why did this happen? Why didn't that happen? Really. All these thinking should be sending me somewhere but no. I'm not getting anywhere.

It doesn't help that I wanna text him. I know he's still awake, but there's probability of him snotting bubbles now. I don't know. I'm more daring when I text him. Asking him this and that. Silly notions of a simple crush. Yet it got so much further than a simple liking. A simple adoration. No, it had to reach the stage where I'm incurable, tempers and moods hitting on me, his words scarring me, his moods tempering on mine, the stage where him and I are roaring at each other, simply trying to gain some understanding. I want to know him better. I want him to not misunderstand me. But then again, I'm simply tired of these games. But it's these games that makes you understand each other better, right? But why as though the more we have it, the more we distance ourselves? From ourselves and each other? We get along with others but when we come to us, we're simply too egoistic or maybe simply too tired to care or to bother.

Maybe it's just me making a fuss about everything. Afterall, I do admit I'm a whiney kid.