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Wednesday, February 27, 2008/ 2/27/2008 05:45:00 pm
dont expect much from me guys. using cuzzie's comp tp update. life's been hell. dad abusing me blah blah. haha. have a gd day.
Labels: no comp.
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messedupday
Monday, February 11, 2008/ 2/11/2008 12:36:00 am
Okay! Laptop didn't feel too well today. I had problems with it. Blue screen keeps popping out. It's a sign that I shouldn't use the laptop too much.
Today, nearing 7pm... I had a terrible headache. I went to sleep until 8pm. Surprisingly, dad didn't wake me up. I wonder. Did I grow horns while sleeping? No idea. XD!
Mengenai novel Anis Ayuni, Suara Hati...
http://novelcinta.multiply.com/reviews/item/50I like the story. It's sweet and sad.
Sinopsis : SUARA HATI
Cinta tidak semestinya bersatu. Terperangkap dalam dilema membuatkan dia terpaksa membuat keputusan. Pilihan ibu dan ayahkah yang perlu dituruti sedangkan jauh di lubuk hati, selaut kasihnya telah tercurah pada Haris, pilihan sendiri.
Hari berganti, bulan berlalu, Haris yang dinanti menghilang tanpa khabar berita. Separuh rela, lamaran Naim terpaksa diterima. Mereka berbahagia. Namun, sayangnya mendung menjelma. Dalam penantian menyambut kelahiran anak kedua, suami tercinta pergi buat selamanya.
Tika duka membadai di hati, terjadilah pertemuan tanpa diduga. Haris yang disangka telah mengalih cinta, ingin kembali dalam hidupnya semula. Sudikah dia menerima lelaki itu sedangkan luka di hati masih terasa. Dan... andai cinta pertama telah di-kecewakan, masih wujudkah cinta untuk kali kedua?
The story is very nice. I like it. Okay, so I DO read romance novels. But I like the malay novels. =)! Sweeter and nicer. Although the sad parts is like usually overwhelming. =(!
Thank you xmasterz~ For buffing and such today. Have a good night Claise. =)!
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sucks-dom
Sunday, February 10, 2008/ 2/10/2008 12:10:00 am
Haha! Hey hi!
Nothing much to update. Van had to log at 4+ because of CNY. Masterz didn't log in. Was bored. Watched Smiling Pasta till episode 4. Gonna watch 5 tomorrow. Nothing much.
Take cares Claisy~ And Gio~ And whoever~ Sayang~ ^^
Labels: boredom
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sweets
Friday, February 08, 2008/ 2/08/2008 08:39:00 pm
Hey hey Claisavard! =)!
Ahh, Saviet's a knight now in FlyFF. Congrats to her. And me. =X! She's uhh... 62 now. XD! Yeah. =X! Savien is still... himself. He's 79 now though. Gonna be 80 like... soon. Haha! So far, life's been good, yada yada. Thanks to my FlyFF sweetie. ^^! Apparently, he's a good luck charm. Honestly. Haha. Saviet really likes him, don't cha? ^^
Savi: Keep quiet about it! Do you REALLY have to announce it to the whole world?
Susu: I HAD to. Claise made me!
Savi: NO! It was YOU! YOU did this, SUSU. You're TYPING this entry. Now bug it!
Susu: Awww... *sits one corner and cries*
Savi: And NO COOKIES!
Susu: WAAH! ;_;!
So far, she got a cruiser suit, teba suit, sigel suit and now flury suit! Wow! All the expensive items! I'm trying my luck here, trying to sell it. =X! Don't know if it'll actually work, but whatever, haha!
He's really a good luck charm. A sweetie. OK! Although we... uhmm... fight, I think is the correct term... Ok... not really fight but you know... denials and such. Haha. Ya. He lives in Penang, for you curious readers out there. Here's one for Giovanni. *shoots him* GIO!!! I miss you so much!! I'm not playing Dark Ages anymore, Gio! =(! I lost the mood for it! Soo... don't miss me, all right? ^^! Hahahaha!! If you feel like tagging, you can tag. I think. XD!
xmasterz is sooo cute!! Squee~~ X)!!!
UGH! After dinner, I went to mum's room to look at her clothings and stuffs. Lil' did I realise, I was already crying when I touched her clothes. It's been a year+ now. Straightaway, I took some of her clothes and hugged them on the spot. I really miss her. More than I can miss anyone. I tried to stop crying but my tears just streamed down like waterfall. I tried to be emotionless but I just can't! Not when my thoughts start filling up about how my mum raised me with such care and love. It's just hard. I feel like joining her. I miss her.
Namamu sentiasa di dalam doaku. Kebahagiaanmu adalah kebahagiaanku. Namun, hatiku sedih mengenangi jasamu yang tidak akan terbayar, untuk selamanya. Kini, diriku bagaikan hutang. Jasadku akan menjadi ganti untuk segala hutang. Hatiku menjerit, memerlukan kehadiran seorang ibu. Tiada orang yang mampu mengganti dirimu. Perpisahan yang amat memerit hatiku ini akan akhir apabila nyawaku sudah disambut Ilahi.
Labels: i miss you so much. can i join you?, mama
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listentoyourHEART
Wednesday, February 06, 2008/ 2/06/2008 11:14:00 am
Hey Claisy.
I find one thing queer. Is listening to your heart stupid or is listening to your heart just dumb? Neither. Listening to your heart is smart. But you know something...
Even the smartest answer is actually the dumbest answer.Why do I say that? Let's give a simple situation.
You like a guy. You're not sure whether the guy likes you back. You keep thinking about asking him whether he likes you or not. You keep thinking whether he wants to go out for a drink with you or not. You keep thinking so many things... You're actually side-tracking. It comes down to basically 2 things.
To ask or not to ask.
Yes or no.
Why do people complicate things? Why do they hesitate or deny or fast-forward everything? Why can't people just let NATURE TAKE ITS COURSE? People always complain about how their heart works differently from their head. Including me. But we got to realize. Heart matters are different from head matters. Logic and reality clash, when it comes to decisions. That's what I've learnt.
Your logic tells you it's a wise thing to do this and not a wise thing to do this and you can carry on and do it.
Your reality is telling you that this is getting impossible, your heart isn't into this and this will never work out.
See what I mean? It all clashes! But why force yourself if you can't do it? My buddy also another
TAMBI. She cannot endure her course and her bond but she still force herself and for her brother. I know it is a motivation, but it's a motivation that will die. I know it's degrading to think about it this way, but it's a fact. Your heart will win in the end because it's something you CANNOT do, it's something which you aren't CREATED for. If you keep listening to that bastard head of yours, you're gonna get yourself screwed. I'm talking from my point of view here since I went through the same shit as you.
But then, there's the bond to consider. You're getting yourself into a fucked up mess. Honestly. You NEED to talk to your parents. I don't know how or what but if your father don't get your point, I'm going to seriously smack your father to reality. His dreams are dead. Forget about getting a family car, ass. There's insurance, tax, petrol money, ticketing money. Heck! LOOK AT MY COUSIN!
He's SUFFERING BECAUSE OF A STUPID FOUR-WHEEL DRIVE! He works and take up 2 other part-time jobs. All because of a vehicle? HELLO! That thing will drive you insane! Unless you're telling me you're getting 7k per month, it's an impossible thing, okay? GOD! Heck, if you top up EZ-link 20 bucks per week, that's 80 per month. Comparing to the bloody tickets which is already 100+ and the bloody petrol which is one week, 40+ and the fucking installments which is definitely 500+. HELLO! Did you guys count your damned budgets??? HECK! Even my books don't total up to 500+ bucks. SHIZ! Heck, at least my books are worth it. I buy it and it's mine, permanently! A car will have to be returned to the company to be SCRAPED! HAHAHAHA! How SAD! -.-.zZ!
It's sad seriously. When you keep thinking about things and they cloud your mind. Then of course we'll go into denial stage. We'll keep telling ourselves that we can do it and we won't repeat the same damned mistakes. Sorry mate. It's not for you to decide. It's for your heart and God to decide.
Like I said, Fate has a queer way of working. When you least expect it, Fate will twist the situation or just leave it be. Or when you most expect it, Fate will twist or won't. It's funny but we cannot guess. I keep telling myself not to fall in love but it won't work. It may be that I don't want to meet the wrong person but I learn something. The people you meet are guardian angels. They have something in them that they want to share with you. Heck, even an enemy is a guardian angel. Don't mistake me. I mean, they WANT to be enemies with you. They have something to teach you, no matter how twisted it is. These people are going to affect your life.
So, don't be a dumb-ass. When you like someone, just like them. Don't be an ass and go into denial mode. That's just... dumb. I like to deny but I appreciate their presence. Their presence somewhat make me the
ME today. Their presence are comforting. Haha! Gotta admit, sometimes, even I find it queer but I'm pretty content with it. Well, if I don't like something, I'll just say no. Because I don't like it. Why? If you don't like it, why pursue? It's a dumb thing to continue pursuing and when you motivate yourself to continue, you're even dumber. No comments.
Enough blogging. Some forces (MMORPG) is calling me. Gotta go!
Labels: it's all about listening to your heart
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Saddened
Friday, February 01, 2008/ 2/01/2008 11:59:00 pm
CLAISAVARD! FLYFF DID NOT EFFING WORK YESTERDAY AND TODAY! EFF! DIE! DROP DEAD! SHOOT! ARGH! FINE! NO FLYFF MEANS... I'VE BEEN WATCHING D.N. Angel. I love this anime series, no matter what. Probably because of the music pieces. Or piano pieces. It's a really beautiful series. I don't know why... Maybe because it's touching? You've got to watch to understand and learn. The emotions involved is really high. >_<
To protect your loved ones, don't choose death.
To protect your loved ones, you have to carry on whatever happens.
Somehow, I feel affected by that. I think "greatly affected" is more appropriate. It's contradicting if you just read it plainly like that. I mean, this is real life and those quotes are from an anime series, a cartoon! In a way, I find the quote above a motivation. Imagine you go on a war, you don't want to die. Because the pain your loved ones will feel will greatly affect them. It's sad. The second quote, if you have an unrequited love, you'll carry on for them. They'll be in your memories and you'll pray for them and vice-versa. I believe in that. Ok, I'm getting a lil' touchy-mushy, aren't I?
I think Daisuke's my idol. A hero in my eyes. He's such a sweet, clumsy and innocent guy but he's strong. Not muscle-strong. Emotionally strong. He has the courage to face up to his feelings. Then, there's Risa. She may be a pest at the beginning, like me. Then, once a break up, she's a lil' clingy still but she learns how to think and feel for the other party. She doesn't think for herself anymore. I like that in her. I wish, in a twisted way, I have her bravery. She no longer thinks for herself. I'm beginning to grow to like her. =)! I have a new resolution. Or so, I think.
Richard, I'm gonna stop thinking about you. Missing you.
I'll always like you but I got to realize, you don't like me anymore. I got to realize that I have to stop living in a false dream. An illusion, rather. No good for me. I'll move on but I'll still have a small soft spot for you. I have to wake up. I can't wait for you to create a miracle. Hehe. It'll never happen. I have to create a miracle for myself. Richard, all the best in your future endeavours. Susu, gambatte! He's somewhere out there! Don't stop looking! Don't give up! =)!
I know it sounds stupid since Richard is now but a dream. But he'll do his best in whatever he wants to do. Even if he ever comes back for me, I'd think I'll have to kindly decline him. Although it'll seem weird that he'll even chase after my shadows. Because that isn't like him although, I don't know him enough to judge that. Hehe. My prayers will always consist of you. For you are a dear friend. A part of me is you. I'm rather content with that. Hey, at least I get to be like you. A lil' crazy and suicide, I think. Hahahaha!
Enough of him. I believe that there's every surprise behind a problem. Will it be a pleasant surprise? Will it be a dark one? I don't know. We got to move on. Keep living for ourselves and our loved ones. It's not going to be easy. It's easier said than done, definitely. But I'll triumph over everything until my death triumphs over me.
Destiny, I await your obstacles...
Labels: in the end, it's all about moving on...
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