but..
Sunday, November 30, 2008/ 11/30/2008 09:46:00 am
then again, after seeing him, I'm totally relieved. Heck, we keep grinning and laughing and smiling secretly non-stop. Secretly eyeing each other. Whew. Due to that, I was TOTALLY late for my date with Cici and Mars. xD! Apologies peeps! I'm just a girl missing her hubby. =(! Hahahaha! :D! ROFL! OK, enough with crap... not! Yesterday was just funny and horrible. LOL! Me and manager argued non-stop! Him and his jealousy! Totally owns. xD!
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thoughts
Thursday, November 27, 2008/ 11/27/2008 11:31:00 pm
I really miss him! Oh god! Sigh! =[! Oh, anywho, I keep daydreaming about him today, big time. Hahaha! About him teasing me. ._.! BOO TO THAT! About his kisses(?)? HAHAHA! XD! Ok, I miss him. Period. Sigh! But I'm sighing lots, huh? I miss him but in it, there's a little hatred and a little relief. Probably...
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changes.
Monday, November 24, 2008/ 11/24/2008 07:34:00 pm
Big deal if I change. I change sometimes for the worse and sometimes for the better. Sometimes, they happen. Why does anyone care? Changes occur. Sigh!! I have this major... thing on going!
I kinda have this major mood swing ongoing... Doesn't really help my day. So much for confidence in me. Sorry to disappoint ya Claisavard! I'm kinda feeling all... depressed. No, really. The last I felt this bad was this bad. Ok, was with Alex. Big deals with big guy. Major. Sigh! Ok! It just WENT BAD!
Screw it! Alex said I've changed! BEAT IT! The truth is, you guys just can't wait to get rid of me! HAH! I know what's really hidden deep inside all of your hearts! SUSU IS A MAJOR BURDEN! OMYGOD! Why am I so stupid to not even REALISE that?! You guys just can't wait to get rid of her! Just wait people! I'll just change so much you guys will start wondering what the hell happened to the noisy ol' carefree Susu! GOOD! You guys hate me, period! Admit it, people! Today! Susu is the freaking Emo-girl!
Emo-Susu!
I think Alex thinks of me as strange already. Scary strange, whatever negative words that can be thought of. Sigh!
Still, I'm having that emo-thoughts of Susu
Labels: is he really who he depicts?
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deadTired
Sunday, November 23, 2008/ 11/23/2008 09:36:00 am
deadTired! Honest! I'm like wanting to snooze! Heh! =]!
Watched MadagascarII-Escape2Africa yesterday with Misrah. HELLA FUN MOVIE! NICE! =]! Asked Alex to go watch TwiLight movie with me =]! In December! Anticipated movie, for sure! ^.^! I know I'm rarely updating now. The lazy-bones in me got activated when it comes to blogging-affairs. Because yes! I have a scandal! =O! It's... WORK! FRIENDS! ALEX! Ok, scratch "a"! It's "I have
a scandal
S!" Hahaha! Pure quote edited for the win! =]! Laters Claise!
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thoughts for today..
Saturday, November 15, 2008/ 11/15/2008 05:45:00 pm
dunno what he's thinking.
asking me to be
HAPPY when he's gonna leave me.
or expects me to ditch him.
cruel.
suchfate..
i want you to be mine, period.
i wanna be yours, forever.
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insanity
Wednesday, November 12, 2008/ 11/12/2008 10:45:00 pm
insanity drove me nutty today! haha! anyhow...
yesterday and today, 8am...
tomorrow, 8am...
i will
DIE.
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thinking...
Tuesday, November 11, 2008/ 11/11/2008 10:07:00 pm
Sometimes, I think I should just end it all.
Just go
/wrist myself.
End of tale.
End of Susu.
Darkness...
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playboy sucks to core
Friday, November 07, 2008/ 11/07/2008 12:26:00 pm
Yesterday was SAD! Beat it. Sad, yeah, sad. Jeez.
Why huh?
Fucking relationships.
Fuck him, lol.
Fuck his mentality.
Fuck everything about his fucking self. Sigh!
I'm so on the profane mood. Sigh!
When you're in a relationship, you don't fucking tell your ex-partners that you still love them and want them back? That is just so bullshit. Your reasons do not make sense. Really. So what if they ignored you? The main point is, it isn't about them. It's you. You motherfucker! Are you like fucking trained to hurt people?
You know what Claise? I'm sick to death about this bull. It's plain bull. What a retarded jerkhead.
Labels: a jerkhead he is.
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so much thoughts lost in the space-timeheart pandemonium
Monday, November 03, 2008/ 11/03/2008 08:53:00 am
Hihi Claisavard~
Kepalaku bingung memikirkannya. Hatiku berdegup cepat melihatnya. Hatiku sakit ketika bersamanya.
Wanna know why?
So much about him that leaves me utterly speechless.
Why do I like him?
Why do I envy him?
Why do I wanna be with him?
Why did I
EVEN chose him?
Why is there such a chaos in my heart, thinking of him?
Why the butterflies?
Why do I
NEED him by my side?
Ultimately...
Why do I love him?
But why the pain when I'm with him? The knowledge... The lingering intuition that one day he'll be free from my grasp. I don't know. I'm just so... You know the song 'NSync? Tearin' Up My Heart? It feels like that. JUST on the dot, like that. I need metal songs to save my sanity.
LEFTOVER sanity. NOW. That I've open those songs. Phantom of The Opera is my current listening. I just needed that to calm me down. It's my resort.
Oh well. I don't know. I think communication breakdown, obviously. Hahaha. So much confusion. Screw languages of heart. Tired to think and figure out puzzles so unbelievably hard to solve. It's like saying 10,000 puzzle pieces unperfect because the main picture is gone.
Oh I don't know! HELL! I HATE CONFUSIONS! PERIOD! Now stop haunting my life and go bug someone else! Stupid voices. GAH! With regards to Mars blog, I feel the same pain. But for her, it's worse. She's loyal and devoted. To one person till today. It's like a drama, I daresay!~ But she isn't in a relationship before. Sigh! I don't know lha! Tired of thinking, personally speaking.
Hardcore truth: Love either eventually sucks or is a dream come true.
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tracing the moments of absolute bliss
Sunday, November 02, 2008/ 11/02/2008 12:49:00 am
I really don't know what to blog except I'm recalling moments of total bliss... and fantasizing of them. That is
so me. I know.
More advancement...
Today me and him got split again. I totally forgotten his hndphone battery is totally busted. I text him. To no avail, but of course. X.X! In the end, I brought home supposed-to-be-his dinner takeaway. Of Claypot Spicy Soup. Turns out... Not so great to my tongue. But very spicy. Left me burning.
I need kisses. Now!
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