Time to chill. I definitely need a chill pill. Or antidepressant. Whichever works. So, I've tried avoiding blogging. Not avoid, really. More like I haven't the time and effort to just write down... stuffs. Things like... I don't know. No events happens in my life. Just so boring, ya know? Then again, it's not like I need more dramas in my life.

So! I've been playing this Dragonica game. It's kinda simple 3d side-scrolling game. Kinda adorable if you asked me. The Singapore version seems to be much more updated than the other versions. Probably because it's Sing-ah-poree. Haha! I don't know what to blog, really. I'm feeling tired and queerly energetic.

So, fasting month. Big deal, huh? Working while fasting. This is the 2nd Ramadhan that I'm going through with LJS. I know. It's been a year now since I've started working at LJS. I didn't expect to last this long but then again, I'm not complaining much. Perhaps this is just a start. To my never-ending life. Until I die, that is.

One topic bothers me. What do I call "friend"? A friend. In my opinion, it's not just simply hanging out. It's more of how they enter your life and stay with you. Not as a soulmate, I mean. How many friends do I have, for real? Not to criticize or anything but I feel like I'm only surrounded by few good friends. Those past friends are just past. But hey. I pretty much like my current low-profile, no-friend life. I don't believe in talk-today-and-forget-tomorrow. That's just chatting to strangers. Like Ben's friend. He smsed me suddenly, claiming that he took my number from Ben. I hate these kind of people. Who asked for numbers. Or give away numbers. No doubt if you're friends and you give your friend's number to another friend, simply because they need it for contact purposes, that's fine by me. But if say you ask for a stranger's number, that's just beyond comprehension. Or even give away a stranger's number. I don't care. But strangers remain as strangers.

Yet, I still have to say my goodbyes to this perfect stranger of mine one day. It's coming, I know it. So far, he hasn't contaminated my mind. I mean, yes, I do think about him but I'm putting in more and more efforts trying not to think. So now, it became an occasional thing for me. To just think of him once in a while. It takes all of my willpower not to text him and to pester him. Maybe one day, I can do that with ease. Maybe one day, I won't have to think about such nonsense. Maybe one day, all these will go away.

All of my wishful thinking, will it ever come true? Am I really putting in the effort to even go about doing it? Saying it and concluding everything, it's just a speculation, isn't it? Total guesswork. A conjecture that I cannot grasp just because I don't have the physical evidence of it. What is the evidence, you ask, Claise? The fact that I don't think about him. Or taking no effort not to text. That kinda thing. The horror of life. It's not due to tragedies, really.

True horror lies in your hands and mind, whatever bad things happen because of you and you're solely responsible for such. It's all your fault and you settle it. Yes, that's the true horror of life.

In one word, life is incomprehensible.