Has it even crossed the mind how many times something happens? Like coincidence? I don't get along well with coincidences well enough but ok. Let's do so. I just seem to feel that this has happened before a few times but how many, I seemed to lost count. It all seems so familiar. When I reach that stage, I go in a trance because I feel as though it's happened before but I'll try and recall how long ago, how many times. So much for the games of illusions and trances.

Work was tiring today. 13 hours of work with 4 hours of sleep. I'm a borned genius. Don't ask how or why. Know something, Claise? I hate David. Lol. Don't know why. Don't know how. I just do. He's fun, ok. But I feel like I'm getting to his bored side and he's getting to my nerves. So egging annoying. Whether he laughs or smile, I don't feel like it's anything special or anything. It feels more of... retarded. I used to think how wonderful it will be to have him smile at me like that every single damned time. But it's the damned times that I've given up all notions on. Sometimes, I just feel like shouting at him to just fuck off. Sometimes, I just feel like telling to go back to where he came from. Sometimes, I wish he'll just disappear altogether. Can you please read this in bold?!

Please just disappear from my life. I love you too much, it became a bad habit, it becomes an annoyance, it becomes something unimportant and a burden. You are my justified burden. Please leave my shoulders and leave me be.

Sigh.

Dear stranger,

Please hate me. It will lessen my headaches.
Please don't talk to me. Conversation is one of the stronger ways to bond.
Please don't look at me in the eye. The eyes convey messages of the heart. I don't want to know what you feel or think.
Most of all, please walk out of my life and leave no prints. You're good enough a memory but I don't want your stains all over me.

With love,

me.

Sigh. I need friend's love. Severe concussion upcoming, I can feel it. Phone bills came in. 52. I'll die, broke.