Hey Claisy.

I find one thing queer. Is listening to your heart stupid or is listening to your heart just dumb? Neither. Listening to your heart is smart. But you know something...

Even the smartest answer is actually the dumbest answer.

Why do I say that? Let's give a simple situation.

You like a guy. You're not sure whether the guy likes you back. You keep thinking about asking him whether he likes you or not. You keep thinking whether he wants to go out for a drink with you or not. You keep thinking so many things... You're actually side-tracking. It comes down to basically 2 things.

To ask or not to ask.
Yes or no.

Why do people complicate things? Why do they hesitate or deny or fast-forward everything? Why can't people just let NATURE TAKE ITS COURSE? People always complain about how their heart works differently from their head. Including me. But we got to realize. Heart matters are different from head matters. Logic and reality clash, when it comes to decisions. That's what I've learnt.

Your logic tells you it's a wise thing to do this and not a wise thing to do this and you can carry on and do it.
Your reality is telling you that this is getting impossible, your heart isn't into this and this will never work out.

See what I mean? It all clashes! But why force yourself if you can't do it? My buddy also another TAMBI. She cannot endure her course and her bond but she still force herself and for her brother. I know it is a motivation, but it's a motivation that will die. I know it's degrading to think about it this way, but it's a fact. Your heart will win in the end because it's something you CANNOT do, it's something which you aren't CREATED for. If you keep listening to that bastard head of yours, you're gonna get yourself screwed. I'm talking from my point of view here since I went through the same shit as you.

But then, there's the bond to consider. You're getting yourself into a fucked up mess. Honestly. You NEED to talk to your parents. I don't know how or what but if your father don't get your point, I'm going to seriously smack your father to reality. His dreams are dead. Forget about getting a family car, ass. There's insurance, tax, petrol money, ticketing money. Heck! LOOK AT MY COUSIN!

He's SUFFERING BECAUSE OF A STUPID FOUR-WHEEL DRIVE! He works and take up 2 other part-time jobs. All because of a vehicle? HELLO! That thing will drive you insane! Unless you're telling me you're getting 7k per month, it's an impossible thing, okay? GOD! Heck, if you top up EZ-link 20 bucks per week, that's 80 per month. Comparing to the bloody tickets which is already 100+ and the bloody petrol which is one week, 40+ and the fucking installments which is definitely 500+. HELLO! Did you guys count your damned budgets??? HECK! Even my books don't total up to 500+ bucks. SHIZ! Heck, at least my books are worth it. I buy it and it's mine, permanently! A car will have to be returned to the company to be SCRAPED! HAHAHAHA! How SAD! -.-.zZ!

It's sad seriously. When you keep thinking about things and they cloud your mind. Then of course we'll go into denial stage. We'll keep telling ourselves that we can do it and we won't repeat the same damned mistakes. Sorry mate. It's not for you to decide. It's for your heart and God to decide.

Like I said, Fate has a queer way of working. When you least expect it, Fate will twist the situation or just leave it be. Or when you most expect it, Fate will twist or won't. It's funny but we cannot guess. I keep telling myself not to fall in love but it won't work. It may be that I don't want to meet the wrong person but I learn something. The people you meet are guardian angels. They have something in them that they want to share with you. Heck, even an enemy is a guardian angel. Don't mistake me. I mean, they WANT to be enemies with you. They have something to teach you, no matter how twisted it is. These people are going to affect your life.

So, don't be a dumb-ass. When you like someone, just like them. Don't be an ass and go into denial mode. That's just... dumb. I like to deny but I appreciate their presence. Their presence somewhat make me the ME today. Their presence are comforting. Haha! Gotta admit, sometimes, even I find it queer but I'm pretty content with it. Well, if I don't like something, I'll just say no. Because I don't like it. Why? If you don't like it, why pursue? It's a dumb thing to continue pursuing and when you motivate yourself to continue, you're even dumber. No comments.

Enough blogging. Some forces (MMORPG) is calling me. Gotta go!

Labels: it's all about listening to your heart