CLAISAVARD! FLYFF DID NOT EFFING WORK YESTERDAY AND TODAY! EFF! DIE! DROP DEAD! SHOOT! ARGH! FINE! NO FLYFF MEANS... I'VE BEEN WATCHING D.N. Angel. I love this anime series, no matter what. Probably because of the music pieces. Or piano pieces. It's a really beautiful series. I don't know why... Maybe because it's touching? You've got to watch to understand and learn. The emotions involved is really high. >_<

To protect your loved ones, don't choose death.
To protect your loved ones, you have to carry on whatever happens.

Somehow, I feel affected by that. I think "greatly affected" is more appropriate. It's contradicting if you just read it plainly like that. I mean, this is real life and those quotes are from an anime series, a cartoon! In a way, I find the quote above a motivation. Imagine you go on a war, you don't want to die. Because the pain your loved ones will feel will greatly affect them. It's sad. The second quote, if you have an unrequited love, you'll carry on for them. They'll be in your memories and you'll pray for them and vice-versa. I believe in that. Ok, I'm getting a lil' touchy-mushy, aren't I?

I think Daisuke's my idol. A hero in my eyes. He's such a sweet, clumsy and innocent guy but he's strong. Not muscle-strong. Emotionally strong. He has the courage to face up to his feelings. Then, there's Risa. She may be a pest at the beginning, like me. Then, once a break up, she's a lil' clingy still but she learns how to think and feel for the other party. She doesn't think for herself anymore. I like that in her. I wish, in a twisted way, I have her bravery. She no longer thinks for herself. I'm beginning to grow to like her. =)! I have a new resolution. Or so, I think.

Richard, I'm gonna stop thinking about you. Missing you.

I'll always like you but I got to realize, you don't like me anymore. I got to realize that I have to stop living in a false dream. An illusion, rather. No good for me. I'll move on but I'll still have a small soft spot for you. I have to wake up. I can't wait for you to create a miracle. Hehe. It'll never happen. I have to create a miracle for myself. Richard, all the best in your future endeavours. Susu, gambatte! He's somewhere out there! Don't stop looking! Don't give up! =)!

I know it sounds stupid since Richard is now but a dream. But he'll do his best in whatever he wants to do. Even if he ever comes back for me, I'd think I'll have to kindly decline him. Although it'll seem weird that he'll even chase after my shadows. Because that isn't like him although, I don't know him enough to judge that. Hehe. My prayers will always consist of you. For you are a dear friend. A part of me is you. I'm rather content with that. Hey, at least I get to be like you. A lil' crazy and suicide, I think. Hahahaha!

Enough of him. I believe that there's every surprise behind a problem. Will it be a pleasant surprise? Will it be a dark one? I don't know. We got to move on. Keep living for ourselves and our loved ones. It's not going to be easy. It's easier said than done, definitely. But I'll triumph over everything until my death triumphs over me.

Destiny, I await your obstacles...

Labels: in the end, it's all about moving on...