Everything. Everything is so gay. My feelings is in an uproar. I cannot express it.

Maybe it's due me being lazy that I'm postponing my laundry to tomorrow. Maybe it's due to me on procrastinating mode that I'm drinking lemonade. Maybe it's still me being whiney.

ADVISE: PLEASE DO NOT DISTURB PEOPLE AFTER TEN BY CALLING AND DROPPING BY, POSING AS GUESTS. PEOPLE WANT TO SLEEP. PEOPLE WANT TO WORK THE NEXT DAY. PEOPLE WANT TO SCHOOL THE NEXT DAY. PEOPLE ARE JUST PLAIN TIRED AT NIGHT. FAGGOTS. FESTIVE SEASON IS JUST AN EXCUSE. SO NOW FUCK OFF, FAGS.

Seriously.

It's just so rude. It's ok, whatever. So fuck, I'm so pissed right now. Har-Har much.

I'm so overdue. So much for wanting to forget and be mute. I can't just do that. Not even at a snail's pace. I just go back to me adoring him. Sigh. What a weirdo. It's so funny how I can block him out for a few hours and the next, it comes back to me. Sometimes, when I haven't the mood to chit chat, I'd just keep quiet and avoid his eyes. But after that, it's gone. Why did he wait for me when I asked him to wait? Is he nuts? He could have just gave an excuse and said "I'm not feeling well, think I better go home first. See you on Friday." or something. The CMS that I scored on June, 100%, I still haven't got my coupon and my cash. Sigh. Instead, he asked me if I wanted anything. I was shaking my head. Broke is broke, sir, don't so macho and care to spend. Instead, I was offered LJS coupon. One for Rafiq, one for me. Why? Sigh. It was his own coupon. He's crazy. Probably because he's gonna go home by end of this year. Eh well.

I don't feel particularly well myself. Physically and emotionally. I keep having flu. I best go for a check up soon. It's just that I'm procrastinating right now. Har-Har much. So okay. If I really have H1N1, fuck. I'd probably be like escaping a 1-month grill torture. HAHA! The coupon is more than ever. LJS should effing fix themselves.

Sometimes, I find myself fascinated with you. Sometimes, I wonder why am I even liking you. I can't find the answers. It all lies with you. Why do you have to be so... you? It's strikingly you that I'm liking you. Smiling is all I can afford now. I refuse to let my heart fragmentalize into a million pieces. Do you know how hard it is to find that one tiny weenie piece to really complete your heart? Yet ironically, people say it's better to leave a shattered heart behind than trying to fix it. You'll just end up hurting yourself, fixing, finding all pieces. I can imagine going all loony finding and fixing. I'm not raised to have any patience in me.

P.S. Marina is coming tomorrow with Texas Chicken.
P.P.S. Chocolate saved my sanity and my day.
P.P.P.S. I miss him, even if I see him, I still miss him.