Honestly, does it really make everything in your reality ok if you think of someone? I don't think that reality makes it that simple. I disagree. In fact, I beg to differ.

Say, a simple situation... your wallet got stolen and you think of him/her, will that solve anything? Perhaps it's a simple act of selfish self-motivation, you're in denial. Will anything truly be solved if you think of your significant other? I won't go there because simple, thinking is just in your mind. Reality speaks for itself and begged to differ as well.

We'll delve deeper. If you're about to be raped, you think of them, will the raping soon stop? Who gives a fuck. You're about to be raped anyway.

Truly, thinking just gives you a simple sense of relief. Or should I say it's hogwash. Nothing in life ever works out that simple. I've learnt that thinking of someone just brings you a smile and nothing more. It's not as though when you think of someone, he or she will be thinking of you as well. Sometimes, we're more selfish than we care to admit. Well, I do. I like my manager and I don't like sharing him with others. I'm simply selfish that way despite the fact him and I have nothing to do with each other, other than the fact that we're strangers.

I think about him and that brings about a smile on my face. I feel like a maniac and I can't help wondering why but why thinking? It's a total waste of time, I'd say! It gives you a sense of euphoria, not one that will last long. I didn't say you can't think of someone but sometimes, there are limits. Reality will never be okay even if you think of someone.

If I fail my exams and I think about my guy (if I had one), nothing will change. My results won't change. Nothing will be okay. Offer your words of pity but still, nothing's changed. That, by itself, remains a fact.

People say happiness is unbound. I say different. I say it's limited. Can you seriously be happy forever? What if a fight broke out? What if you broke up with him/her? What if s/he cheats on you? What if (touchwood) they die? Can you still keep smiling? I can't. I definitely can't. I'd break down and cry but I've got to get over it. It's the same process over and over again. It's happening everyday. It's a normal cycle.

I can never understand why people cry after they broke up with someone. If they did, they're missing out a great person! Truly, you need a total opposite. I'd be bored with another me. We're both joking around (I can totally picture it now...), get nothing done at all, never serious and waking up late and two lazybums. Hell, I can't live that kind of life!

I can imagine someone setting me straight with that serious face, someone about to pour water on my face when I'm gonna be late for work and doing some chores around.

Sidetracking, sorry. Back again. Thinking of someone just complicates my mind that it chokes my thinking. Too full of rubbish, I swear.

What is he doing?
Is he eating?
Sleeping?
What clothes is he wearing?
Wonder what time he'll call.
Wonder what's he got for the next date.
What am I gonna get him this upcoming anniversary?
What am I gonna plan on his birthday.

CHOKED FULL OF SHIT, PERIOD.

BLARGH! All these thinking is making me go haywire, word. I'm better off showering to calm myself down and do some more thinking. Sigh.