i feel... like a turtle. hiding in my shell.

what do i know? what do i want in life?
i keep seeing you.
i want to stay longer with you.
anything to spend more time with you.
but i detest this side of me.
who keeps looking at you.
adoring you.
loving you.
i want to move far away.
where i can't see you.
reach you. feel you.
you make me feel weak inside.
you make me feel...
like a girl.
i hate you.
i hate people like you.
but people like you brings my guard down.
just like a girl.
i'm over you. i tried. in vain.
i just want to say i do like you more than a friend.
i cannot say i love you.
i doubt it's that strong.
it's just a silly crush.
but you linger in my mind.

susu.
you should just stop liking him.
it'll go nowhere.
that's what my mind screams.
my heart whispers.
susu, don't deny forever.
you know he'll always linger.

Labels: confused in love