Like a broken sunflower, enough is enough. It's cold enough to freeze me. It's hot enough to drive me insane. Haven't my heart had enough of stupid crushes? Dear Susu, please wake up!
How is it every human can brave through storms?
How is it I'm so pathetic, the storm just stings my eyes and pierces my very skin?
So much confusion...
I just want to be a better person, yet be still who I am.
How does anyone go about doing that?
So confused.
How does one change but remain true to who they are?
I find it hard to do a 50% change. I find it easier to do a 100% change or no change at all.
Or to just lie your way through.
I've been braving through my last choice. Every single damned thing, I lie my way out. Shattering my very own soul. Darkening my very own path. How is it anyone can be so brave? I question that everyday. I wonder every moment. I doubt every second. How is it anyone can have so much thoughts and still carve a lie out of nothing just to deceive one's self? I've had enough. Still I persist. Why?
One person tried learning me. Passed. Shattered my every illusion I created and defended for so long. All those beliefs seems so far-fetched now. I'm trying to rebuild again. To be destroyed again. I'm desperate to live in my own world once more. Why can't just anyone leave me alone? I don't need love or sympathy to keep me going. I don't want to depend on anyone. Yet I crave for someone's attention. So much denials. More illusions. Adding on more lies and deception. Will this ever end? That I wonder...
...Everyday.
shatter my soul, rebuild my own pseudologies, recreate my embroided truth, give me the strength to go through this all on my own...